weird how that happens.

Sometimes the things you think you've learned come back to bite you...hard.
And then you're like, OH HEY I...guess I didn't really learn that in the first place.

Such is the case for me.

I always impressed on people since I've known of God's love that no matter what they do or say or feel, God will never love them less, and He could never stop loving them altogether.

Fast forward to about...two weeks ago (but really these past two years).
If you know me you know I am not perfect.
I have things that I struggle with just as everyone does.

The past two weeks have been brutal. It's just a lot of fighting. Struggling. Battling, I suppose.
These struggles in my life suddenly had a vice-like grip on me. Stronger than I thought I could handle.
And on my own, I definitely couldn't. I knew I needed God's help, but I denied it completely and tried to be "enough" on my own.
That's basically the blunt truth.

So just a few days ago, during response time at youth group, I finally found myself hitting a rock-bottom of sorts. It was a painful experience to say in the least.
So many things were running through my mind.
"God, have you given up on me, too?"
"Am I too much work, even for you?"
"God, I don't want be a failure to you. I don't want to abandon you."

I was distraught.
I don't get really sad about much anymore, but that....that was painful.
To think that God had given up on me.

Fast forward to this night.

I was having a conversation with one of my friends about worship music and was quietly strolling through some worship songs.
The conversation between both of us got deep.
A song came on, entitled "Mercy" by Cory Asbury.

And a lyric popped up.
Cory sang, "God, there is nothing I could do to change your mind about me."
And before it could hit me, my friend and I started talking about how endless God's love is.
Then it hit me.

How could I be so foolish?
God is the same. Yesterday, today, and forever.
His love for me could never change, even if I wanted it to.
The love I received that first night I met him is the same love he has for me in all of my troubles. In all of my rock-bottom moments.

Surely God will never leave me.
Or give up on me.

Or give up on you.


Mmmm. Thanks Jesus.