If you don't know what it is, you could either keep reading or look it up on google.
Essentially I suffer from a fear of throwing up. Or, more generally speaking, any stomach illness.
It started before I can remember, and it's been with me for (as far as I know) my entire life. Every year, it festers and gets worse, the wound becoming deeper, the chains becoming heavier, the rock becoming bigger, whatever metaphor you'd like to use.
As you can imagine, after 17 years of suffering with fear, becoming a slave to my phobia...17 years of OCD rituals, obsession over immunity boosters, anti-nausea meds and pepto-bismol....17 years of cycling through feeling sick>anxiety>sick feeling from anxiety>feeling sick>anxiety (etc), 17 years of skipping weddings, work days, birthday parties, family gatherings and large events of the sort...17 YEARS of having the common bout of a little bit of nausea and letting it control me to the point where I wouldn't eat for days afterwards....after 17 years,
I'm done.
I've been thinking about this for a while now.
But yesterday and last night, I was cycling again and I went to sleep with nothing but pepto-bismol in my stomach. This morning I woke up still feeling sick, downed another dose of pepto and had yet another panic attack. I went downstairs and started listening to worship music.
And then it hit.
The fighting back.
Yes, I had been praying for strength to do this and it has finally come.
I said out loud, "No. In the name of Jesus, you will not take control of me anymore. I'm not sick. God is stronger than you. And he is by my side."
I am tired of giving in to the fear.
I will take every single thought captive and MAKE it obedient to Christ.
(2 Corinthians 10:5)
I will not let this control me anymore.
Christ is the leader of my life, Christ is who I answer to.
Not emetophobia.
Not anxiety.
Not panic attacks.
Christ lives in me.
The same power that conquered the grave lives in me, and I don't have to be afraid anymore because the biggest hero in the history of our universe is fighting on my side.
Thank you Jesus.
Essentially I suffer from a fear of throwing up. Or, more generally speaking, any stomach illness.
It started before I can remember, and it's been with me for (as far as I know) my entire life. Every year, it festers and gets worse, the wound becoming deeper, the chains becoming heavier, the rock becoming bigger, whatever metaphor you'd like to use.
As you can imagine, after 17 years of suffering with fear, becoming a slave to my phobia...17 years of OCD rituals, obsession over immunity boosters, anti-nausea meds and pepto-bismol....17 years of cycling through feeling sick>anxiety>sick feeling from anxiety>feeling sick>anxiety (etc), 17 years of skipping weddings, work days, birthday parties, family gatherings and large events of the sort...17 YEARS of having the common bout of a little bit of nausea and letting it control me to the point where I wouldn't eat for days afterwards....after 17 years,
I'm done.
I've been thinking about this for a while now.
But yesterday and last night, I was cycling again and I went to sleep with nothing but pepto-bismol in my stomach. This morning I woke up still feeling sick, downed another dose of pepto and had yet another panic attack. I went downstairs and started listening to worship music.
And then it hit.
The fighting back.
Yes, I had been praying for strength to do this and it has finally come.
I said out loud, "No. In the name of Jesus, you will not take control of me anymore. I'm not sick. God is stronger than you. And he is by my side."
I am tired of giving in to the fear.
I will take every single thought captive and MAKE it obedient to Christ.
(2 Corinthians 10:5)
I will not let this control me anymore.
Christ is the leader of my life, Christ is who I answer to.
Not emetophobia.
Not anxiety.
Not panic attacks.
Christ lives in me.
The same power that conquered the grave lives in me, and I don't have to be afraid anymore because the biggest hero in the history of our universe is fighting on my side.
Thank you Jesus.
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